Post 1 Kaylyn Torkelson

Bitch

 

Carolyn Kizer    

 

Now, when he and I meet, after all these years,

I say to the bitch inside me, don’t start growling.   

He isn’t a trespasser anymore,

Just an old acquaintance tipping his hat.

My voice says, “Nice to see you,”

As the bitch starts to bark hysterically.

He isn’t an enemy now,

Where are your manners, I say, as I say,

“How are the children? They must be growing up.”   

At a kind word from him, a look like the old days,   

The bitch changes her tone; she begins to whimper.   

She wants to snuggle up to him, to cringe.

Down, girl! Keep your distance

Or I’ll give you a taste of the choke-chain.

“Fine, I’m just fine,” I tell him.

She slobbers and grovels.

After all, I am her mistress. She is basically loyal.   

It’s just that she remembers how she came running   

Each evening, when she heard his step;

How she lay at his feet and looked up adoringly   

Though he was absorbed in his paper;

Or, bored with her devotion, ordered her to the kitchen   

Until he was ready to play.

But the small careless kindnesses

When he’d had a good day, or a couple of drinks,

Come back to her now, seem more important

Than the casual cruelties, the ultimate dismissal.

“It’s nice to know you are doing so well,” I say.

He couldn’t have taken you with him;

You were too demonstrative, too clumsy,

Not like the well-groomed pets of his new friends.   

“Give my regards to your wife,” I say. You gag

As I drag you off by the scruff,

Saying, “Goodbye! Goodbye! Nice to have seen you again.”

 

Carolyn Kizer, “Bitch” from Mermaids in the Basement. Copyright © 1984 by Carolyn Kizer. Reprinted with the permission of Copper Canyon Press, P. O. Box 271, Port Townsend, WA 98368, www.coppercanyonpress.org.

 

The poem is more universal than culturally specific. Carolyn Kizer is American, but

the emotions she's discussing have a universal theme to them. Many people across many countries can relate to a situation like this, if not this exact situation. We all know the feeling when we see someone we used to be very close with (whether it be a friend or a lover) who we are no longer on the same terms with. We initially view the person as an enemy, but attempt to be cordial. With one "kind word," we begin to question our past decisions and whether it was right to view this person as an enemy. We miss them, yes, but eventually realize that we were justified in our decision to break the relationship off. This awkward encounter and the inner battle that goes along with it is human at heart- something we can all relate to and understand.

 

I chose this poem because I did think it was a universal idea, as well as a personal one. I've been in a situation similar to the one described in the poem, and appreciate the use of the "bitch" to voice the inner struggle we've all felt at some point or another. Kizer explains my emotions and my thoughts way better than I ever could.