Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Max Morris

In just less than a week, God made everything: The light, the dark, plants, animals, people, pretty much anything you can think of. Understandably, he was pretty zonked after all this, so he just rested up on the seventh day. After his cat nap, he found himself in a bit of pickle. He only made one man name of Adam, and that man had no friends. God decided the logical thing to do was to take Adam's rib and make a woman out of it that he called Eve. God also, being a reasonable man, made just one rule: Neither Adam nor Eve could eat the fruit from a certain tree in the garden, or there would be some serious consequences. One day, though, some slimeball snake convinced Eve that it was good idea to eat that fruit, and being a dingus, she did, as well as giving Adam a bite too. This rubbed God the wrong way, so he threw them out of the Garden of Eden, and cursed humanity forever. What a hunk.

As far as my origins go, there's not much to say. Both of my parents hail from Kentucky, my dad from a relatively wealthy family of lawyers, and my mom from an Eastern Kentucky clan straight out of Flannery O'Connor. I was born on a Friday the 13th, 45 minutes after the death of Tupac Shakur, meaning I am definitely Tupac reincarnated. The most vivid of my early memories was riding the Haunted Mansion at Disney World, a truly life-defining experience. I still feel about as much at home on that ride as I do in my own house. From then on out, it was just life as usual.

1 comment:

  1. I like the informal tone tone you used. The personal anecdotes really added to the blog, and I agree you must be tupac reincarnated. A smashing job I must say, I especially enjoyed the part about the Haunted Mansion.

    ReplyDelete