Evil I'd like to Squelch- Isaac Satin

rewrite Pandora's Box in a new way and then discuss an evil I would like to squelch


The myth of Pandora's Box is pretty straightforward... except the whole box thing. It's actually a vase. But just remember it's a container for things and you've got the basics of the box or vase or whatever.


But on to Pandora herself. One day, Zeus (the dude with the lightning and frankly unhealthy libido), was talking to his son Hephaestus (that's the one with the robot servants and the anvil who's ugly and can't walk well) to create the first woman. So Hephaestus did that, and BAM! Pandora existed.

It didn't end there, of course; Athena gave Pandora some sweet threads, Aphrodite made her extraordinarily beautiful, Apollo gave her musical talent, and Hermes gave her the gift of speech. After all of that was done, things get a little tricky. This guy Prometheus had stolen fire from Zeus a while back, and Zeus was still miffed about that, so as revenge he gave Pandora to Prometheus's brother Epimetheus (I guess if you're a god, you can just give people to other people). Once they're married, the vase comes into play. Some versions of the myth say it was a wedding gift, others say it was in Epimetheus's house, but the point is that the vase is now in the picture.

The vase itself was said to have held all the evils in the world, so why anyone thought it was a good idea to just leave the thing lying around is beyond me. The instructions given to Pandora in reference to the face were to not open it under any circumstances. So obviously her first instinct is to pop it open it. Upon doing that, every evil spirit in it escaped, and when she finally closed it again all that was left in it was Hope. I don't know why Hope was in a vase with every single evil spirit, but there it was. So now, no matter what evil happens in the world, we will always have Hope.


A short list of evils I'd like to squelch:

Ignorance (which covers basically everything from sexism to homophobia to racism to Youtube comments)

Student Debt

Oligarchy

And of course, the mosquito.